You know, striving and reaching for perfect never really works out. Perhaps you can touch it, but never keep it. There's always that slight piece of damage that is shown. a rip of cliche. a dose of flaws. kiss up, drink me. mix it up, baby. drink me, kiss up. everything's never right on track. so step off those train tracks tonight. steer away from the bright light that is about to interfere with you and the air/ground. drink up, kiss me, baby. that's no alcohol your drinking, it's the fears that pour out of my eyes. all the scared thoughts, and discontent feelings. over-passing the untouchable days. sounds a little familiar, right? correct me if i'm wrong, but it's all been said, it's all been done. the second time will be worse, but i never want it to happen. it's all different now. read my incoherent words. your so far from perfect and so far from my bed right now. you complete me in many ways. this never started out to become what it's ending with. wait. i mean this paragraph. actually, thinking back. the day we first met, i never had intentions of "us" coming along this far. amazing. crazy. well maybe not intentions, but never had hopes, or thoughts in general. fuck it; it's clear i have no idea what i am saying. but everything seems so right, right now. it's all fitting into place. i love every moment of my life and it's safe to say: i do not feel miserable.

excuse me sir, but i had plans to die tonight.

do you know how many times that line applies to my past.
it was all in my head.
it was all in my head.

back to not feeling miserable.
days on top of days. i use to spend my life feeling miserable and unhappy. it's just a waste of time. believe me when i say this. if you're sitting there, dying to scream because you hate everything going on around you, take a step out of your life for a minute. think about how things will eventually change.
just stop, nicole. you're not making any sense.
it's all in my head.

it's really a wake up call when:
1) someone tells you they were happy to see you happy.
and a few months later...
2) someone asks you if you are truly happy in life.
and you reply with "most of the time".

what is that suppose to mean?
i do not know.

it's crazy how much you can change in one year.
how much one person can change you.
how one person can help you so much.

don't skim for your name tonight, baby. it's all cryptic. your name is hidden.
take three certain words, and take them to your grave. forever.